day 16

202.6 yep, i am so close to 199 that i can almost taste it!!! ughhhh..... so frustrating!! i leave on a 2 week holiday this coming Friday, and i know that i won't be following the best eating plan while away, so i really wanted to see 199 before i left. not sure that i can lose 3 lbs in 2 days, especially since i don't seem to be able to get to the gym at all this week. very thrilled with this weight loss. the hubby thinks my face looks thinner. nice. on the other hand, my pants and underwear are baggy too. super nice.

2 posts in one day

have you ever wondered what you're going to be when you grow up? well, i'm 43 and i'm still wondering. it's tough on the heart.

i believe that God has a plan for my life, and sure, sometimes is tougher than other times to trust that He will provide everything that i need. i am a stubborn mule and i have always been extremely self-sufficient , but now i cannot seem to move forward for the life of me!
i started my own business a few years ago, with dreams of grandeur and plans for the future. i believed that I was doing well, was told that i am fabulous at what i do, yet have been struggling this year to book any clients for the end of 2012 and i've got nothing for 2013.
i thought i had it all figured out, and them WHAM, the rug gets ripped from under me and i feel lost and alone.

i'm 43 for goodness sake, and i don't have all the time (or money) in the world to be starting over and trying new things. i gave up my dreams many years ago when i became a full-time mom and took care of my kids for 18 years. when they started leaving the nest, i realized that i needed something that was mine and i needed to start earning some income so that we could put these guys through university.

my heart is broken and i don't know what to do.

a couple of weeks ago i kind of hit rock bottom, and i sat and sobbed to my hubby. that was then end of the end for me.

my health hasn't been great, i'm quite overweight and out of shape, and i have been miserable for 2 years now. my business has nearly killed me, yet i am mourning its loss at the same time. i hate being a failure.

now, i'm going to try my best to trust that better things are on the horizon, that i gain regain some sense of control over my life (while relinquishing control at the same time) and i'm going to get my head screwed on straight as i get healthy again.

if anyone ever reads this and you're the praying type, please say a little prayer for yours truly. i can use all the help i can get right now.

day 14 ~ still going strong

good morning world!

i'm sitting here drinking my protein shake and reminiscing about the last 2 weeks.
yep, it's officially been two weeks since i began this journey for the millionth time. i am in no way happy about it having to happen all over again, but i did this to myself and i am responsible for the consequences of unhealthy living.

my weight loss this week has been decent, especially since i didn't think i'd lose anything after my 8 lb loss the first week. i am glad that i have stuck to my guns and haven't indulged in any cheats or treats. i need to get this done, and the sooner the better.

i lost 3.5 lbs this week, for a total of 11.5 lbs these last 2 weeks. not too shabby.

i currently weigh-in at 203.2 lbs, which is soooooo close to 199 lbs that i can just feel it!!! seriously, i haven't been under 200 lbs in quite a few years, so i'm just a tad excited about the possibility of having a ONE at the front of my weight.

i can't wait to get this off.

i cannot wait to feel good in clothes again. oh my...... so exciting.

day 7 ~ looking good

today is day 7 of this low-carb adventure, and i'm pleased to say it seems to be going well. i had a couple of days where i didn't feel great earlier this week, but that's no surprise here. i have been eating like a crazy person for the last couple of years, so of course when i did a huge shift from eating TONS of sugar everyday to none at all, my body rebelled just a tad.
my mood is better, my energy levels are better, and i think i can handle this.
well, all except for the boredom that comes with eating the same things day after day.
i am a very goal oriented kind of gal, and i need total structure when i diet, so having so few choices during the 'initial ' phase of this diet doesn't really bother me too much.
i think my plans are to stay on this diet until i leave for Roatan on April 27th, enjoy my holidays and not stress too much about my diet while i'm there (being conscious of what i eat but enjoying some treats here and there) and then back to the 'initial' phase when i get back and until i reach 180 lbs. from that point i will introduce a few more items to this terribly bland diet and hopefully start running again.

now..... if i could just get this horrible taste out of my mouth i'd be SUPER DUPER happy!! ughhh..... it's awful. hopefully the dentist will have some ideas and be able to help me out. i can't take much more of this!

here are my stats for day 7~

starting weight (Apr 9th) ~ 214.5lbs
current weight ~ 206.5 lbs

yep, that's an EIGHT POUND loss for this week!! gotta love water loss the first week on a diet!! YAY!!

let's start at the very beginning...

this is a new beginning for me, and i just wanted somewhere to go and share my thoughts. i have another blog in cyberspace, but it's my business blog and i don't really want the two meeting up for the time being. i try to keep my business blogging all about business, so there are always things in my head that i'd like to write down but i stop myself before i bore my clients to death with my ramblings, plus, i don't usually want all of my clients knowing all the insanity and chaos that goes on inside this head of mine. sometimes it's a good thing to keep my problems a secret from people who pay my salary!

these last few months have sucked. not only just sucked in general, but they have sucked the life out of me. i don't feel i have anything left to give anyone, and that's a sad thing to say. i am at rock bottom and trying to figure out how to rise to the top again.

one of my issues right now is that i'm fat. yep, pretty sure i'm morbidly obese, but the BMI calculator just says i'm obese, which still sucks. i have been overweight pretty much my entire life, and i can't take it anymore.
i seem to have a BMI of 36 right now.
sure, i have lost weight before and i was even skinny about 12 yrs ago, but times have changed and i'm 43 and my health just feels like it's getting worse. i don't have any huge issues like diabetes or anything, but i do have slightly high blood pressure and i just don't feel great. i think that's a good reason to get in shape.

i figured this would be a great way to keep track of my weight loss, so i'm going to blog about it! YAY ME!

here are my current stats.
height~ 5'4
current weight ~ 210 lbs
starting weight ~ 225lbs (also my highest weight EVER)
BMI~ 36

goal weight ~ 135 lbs (or there about)

diet that i'm following ~ Dr.Poon's Metbolic Diet (which i guess is just a fancy way to say low-carb). it's not as heavy on fats like Atkin's is, so i can't eat bacon and cheese and such. just lots of chicken, salad and egg whites!

exercise~ started at the gym 2 days ago, and have done 30 minutes on the elliptical each time.

i have approximately 70 lbs to lose (give or take 5 lbs), with a goal of reaching that number by sometime in November 2012. i would also like to start running again, and hope to be able to run another 1/2 marathon this fall. fingers crossed!

right now i just want to get my head on straight again, start being able to dream, and accept that sometimes dreams don't come true.

i had such high hopes for my business, and now it seems like God has a different direction for me but i don't know what that is yet. watching my business die right in front of me has taken its toll on my health and mental state, but i'm going to do my best to get out of this hole and dream again.
who knows what the future holds!

hopefully i will get in here daily with an update.